Parenting can be challenging at the best of times and keeping your cool isn’t always easy. Calm parenting techniques can help you to stay calm and avoid confrontation that could be detrimental to your child’s emotional development. While it is a learning curve, calm parenting can be achieved with making a few conscious choices in your action and reaction to difficult situations involving your child.
More often than not, a parent will be ‘triggered’ by their child’s actions, causing them to feel anxious or upset, making the atmosphere and environment different for the child. Children are extremely sensitive to that kind of vibe, and getting yourself in check before you respond to your child having thrown every single toy on the floor. Taking a step back to breathe and assess the situation makes the world of difference.
Here’s an example; your child has just taken every single toy out of the toy box (we’re talking down to the last Barbie shoe) and spread it out all over their bedroom floor. It’s an absolute mess, and who’s going to have to clean it up? You. This, after countless times telling them that they are only allowed to take out one toy at a time, and when they’re done playing with it to put it back into the toy box.
An irrational reaction would be to scream at, strongly reprimand and force them to clean it up. Calm Parenting would suggest that instead of this, the parent should identify the issue - “Oh dear, the room is a mess now. Mommy will help you to clean it up.” Assisting the child and helping them to see that this is not how their personal space should be aids in positive development without the additional confrontation causing anxiety. After cleaning, it would be good to positively reinforce this behaviour by saying “That took a long time, don’t you think it would be better if we only played with one toy and then put it back into the box when we’re done?”
We know that all this is easier said than done, and that it can be very unpredictable. But keeping your cool in these instances is paramount in guiding your child how to react to anything that gets thrown their way, both at home and at school, in friendly relationships. These actions create better emotional control and in the long run, will help to avoid things like anxiety and unnecessary anger.
Always consider why you’re angry, taking a step back to take a breath and consider the negative consequences of reprimanding and confrontation. There is a cornucopia of information surrounding this topic, so please do your research into how you can fully implement this into your daily life as a parent. And just remember - you’re doing a great job as a parent, especially if you read this to the end.
Read more on this topic via our sources: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/calm-parenting-get-control-child-making-angry/
https://childdevelopmentinfo.com/parenting/11-tips-for-becoming-a-peaceful-and-calm-parent/
https://www.supplydesk.co.uk/resource/pedagogy-profile-montessori-method/
